A leader? ME?

I've never thought of myself as a leader. I've always looked at myself as a scatterbrain, average mom. Living each day as it comes. I've never really cared what everyone else is doing. I've always done what I want to do. I've always just danced to the beat of my own drum...or whatever that saying is. I suppose anyone paying attention to my background could see this. I've tried to do things like everyone else. There was a time in my life that I tried to be like the other moms that I was around. Playdates, crafts, mom groups, church, bible studies, couponing... basically anything that would make me "fit in" better and make a better life for my children. You know what I found out? That wasn't the lifestyle for me. I could give my children an amazing life, without doing those things. Once I stopped trying to live a life that wasn't fitting for me at all, things started to fall into place and make more sense. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was happier. No longer was I trying to be someone I'm not. No longer was I trying to be a "perfect mom" and worrying that the kids would tell other parents "my mom lets us watch Twilight" or "my mom lets me play Grand Theft Auto" or "We listen to Eminem in the car! We just don't say the bad words!" I didn't care anymore. My kids are good kids. They're nice kids. They're loved and happy. They have good grades and we talk about every day stuff happening in this world. They know about school shootings, suicide, murder, ebola, terrorist and kidnapping. They know bad things happen to good people. They know about death. I see no point keeping the reality of this messed up world we live in from them. But they also know the good in this world. To be kind to others, no matter what their race or color is. If they look different from a disability or if they have a handicap. I don't want them to grow up in fear, but I want them to grow up aware. I want them to be themselves. 

To be told on a regular basis that I have inspired, motivated and encouraged others to pursue their dreams, still doesn't make me feel like a leader. An awesome bad ass? Yes! A leader? No! Everything that I am doing now, training for my fitness competition, running my own mobile air brush tanning business, being a Younique Presenter, being a mom, being a girlfriend, working part time running the Kid Care program...all of this hasn't come easy. There has been a lot of trial and error and obstacles along the way. Trying to find balance in this busy life hasn't been easy. I'm not the most organized person. People are usually surprised when I tell them this. If you were to come over, yes, you would see a very clean and neat home, not what you would expect in a home of six, including four kids! BUT. Open the kitchen cupboards or take a peek in the closets or in the bathroom cabinets. Nothing but chaos. I have stuff that has needed to go to the post office for months, including prizes from July for my Younique downline (sorry ladies!), my calendar "looks" completely organized, from my 4:30am cardio down to my last tanning appointment at 7pm each day. It would work if I stuck to it! But when I get a client that needs to fit in an emergency tan, I'm going to make it work. Even if that means rearranging my whole schedule. I know I won't always be able to do that, but while I can, I will. 



 

I was a bit overwhelmed with the popularity of inTANsified right from the start. The start of my new business venture hasn't gone without any hiccups. Luckily the hiccups have been with a couple of my regular clients that are absolutely amazing. I may be a bit unorganized,  but when it comes to offering a service to someone, I am a perfectionist. And when it's not perfect, I lose sleep and stress. I understand, all new businesses deal with unfortunate situations. I can lose sleep and stress or learn from them and make them right. I'm working on that. I refuse to fail. I refuse to give up. I  have huge expectations with inTANsified and I know it's going to take time, but I will reach my goal. Learning to balance life, kids, work, training and being an entrepreneur is taking some time. I couldn't do it without the help and support of Scott, family and friends. The success of inTANsified has not gone unnoticed and I am completely humbled by the positive feedback! Now I need to get back on track with my training. I spoke with my Coach, Amie and told her I was pretty down on myself for falling off the wagon these past couple of weeks. She totally understood and told me to stop being so hard on myself for what already happened. I know what I need to do. Time to move forward. She is going to change up my diet a bit, so I'm looking forward to that. 

 

 

100% dedication. Not just in fitness but in everything I do. Knowing that I am viewed as a "leader" will that change anything about me?  Being considered a "business professional" will that change anything about me? Nope. Not a chance. I got to this point being myself and I will continue to grow by being myself. Don't get me wrong, I know when to be professional and classy. Come on now, I do have common sense (although sadly, many do not!) but I'm not trying to put on a show of someone I'm not. My humor is random and can be dry, I listen to music others may frown upon, I allow my kids to watch, listen and do things that other parents may not agree with, I like to be rebellious and go against the grain, I speak my mind, no filter needed, but again, common sense goes hand in hand with all of that. Does this make me a leader? I suppose it depends on how you look at it. If you are one of the ones that I have inspired, motivated or encouraged to pursue their dreams, I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear what it was that gave you that push you needed? If you are on the opposite end, still afraid to pursue your goals, unsure if your family and friends will support you, doubting yourself, I would love to hear from you as well. Coming from someone that grew up completely modest and insecure, I've been there before. No matter what your age, 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's..it doesn't matter, it's not too late to do YOU. Age ain't nothing but a number. It took me 35 years to get here. I know some of the best years of my life are ahead of me....